A Mother's Love

I had a thought today - there are so many songs and stories about a mother's relationship with her daughter, a father's relationship with his daughter - and I can't bring anything to mind about a parent's love for the son. Why is that, I wonder? It doesn't make sense to me. I guess that I just need to write something, which I will once I have my brain back.

I held Sebastian on my lap tonight as he fell asleep. He's always so active and crazy and running around. I don't get much of an opportunity to hold him. I looked at his face as he slept and just melted with love for him. He looked so peaceful and angelic and beautiful. He can be such a brat sometimes, but it's really that he's strong willed and stubborn and knows his mind. He's a tough one and I love his strong personality. He's also a tender hearted, sensitive little love. He loves his sister. I love watching him with her - he'll randomly come over and stroke her hair, hold her hand, make her smile and laugh. He really can't leave her alone. Even after he told me he doesn't like her anymore (silly kiddo), he was hugging and snuggling her minutes later.

I love my little boy so much. He's growing up so fast. Today, we went to a park and played. I watched him running around and it was like he was flashing between my baby boy and a big kid. Watching him run is so adorable. He's so earnest and intent. The past 3 1/2 years have just flown by. I feel like he's growing faster than I can handle. I'm understanding so much more what my parents went through - the worrying, the aching, the anxiety - and he's not even a teenager yet.

He told me today that I'm his best friend and asked me if he is my best friend. I told him yes and that he will always be my favorite Sebastian. He interrupted his play a number of times to run over and hug me and tell me how much he loves me. No matter what else he does, those moments tell me I'm doing it right. I love this little boy so much more than I ever thought possible.

Oops!

I guess it's been awhile since I last wrote anything. My bad ;)

I've been thinking lately about how lucky I am. I have a gorgeous son who is healthy and ridiculously smart. in fact, he's so smart, it scares me to death. Tonight I caught him standing on the stove tyring to get into the cupboard where we keep the peanut butter. Ahh life is an adventure.

I have a wonderful, loving husband who I am falling in love with all over again. We may have our struggles and our difficulties, but it makes me happy to know that he is just as committed as I am to working things out, leaving the bad stuff behind and moving forward. I love him so much and I feel so blessed and so grateful that we are growing together so well. Each day we are stronger and more stable and I know I have my foundation.

I have an incredible family that so many others would kill to have. Ok. there are many who would just kill you all (just kidding!), but many who would kill to have the close-knit tightness we have. So many times over the years it would have been so easy to just give up, to go tumbling over that edge and not look back - but I couldn't because I had all of you and I am so thankful for that. Without you, I wouldn't be who I am - even if who I am is someone different than you expected.

I have a great job where I am finally being recognized and encouraged and challenged to stretch myself. I might not always be the best, or the most reliable - which happens when I get bored, but I am finally somewhere that matches with my desire, abilities and quirks.

So, all around, I feel really good about life, and things, and love. It feels so good to say I don't really have anything I can complain about. It feels good to feel so positive and happy and content. I think I'm going to work on keeping this feeling around for a good long while.